Powerful

Yesterday's service was powerful for me.

First, I thought I was supposed to do media, so I went up to the booth, but Amy was already there taking care of it. Before I left, she told me about an affect Morgan had on someone's life.

Apparently, a couple of weeks ago, she felt the need to speak at Refuel about a good friend who had gotten into cutting, and how she had helped the friend deal with her feelings. Later that week, someone who heard her speak that night messaged Amy, wanting to talk. She said she had heard "that girl" speak about the subject at Refuel, and she had recently begun doing it to herself. Because of Morgan, this girl told someone, and was able to get the help she needed. Because of Morgan, not one, but two girls have been helped - possibly their lives were even saved! Of course, this brought me to tears when I told Morgan about the story Amy had told me, but darn that little booger already knew about it, and hadn't told me! The stinker!

Another, very powerful thing that happened during the service was just neat. I had been looking at Chiv as he spoke. He invited us to prayer, and I closed my eyes. You know how you see shapes when you close your eyes? Well, I saw the very distinct shape of a cross! I soon realized that it was because of the cross on the altar, which Chiv was standing next to, but I had not really noticed it there until I closed my eyes, as the gold cross blended into the light wood paneling behind it!

During his sermon, Chiv told a story about his grandson Joshie, who threw a fit because someone else had the coat he wanted to wear. He refused to go on a walk with Daddy and Grandpa without his coat. Daddy gave him one last chance, standing in the doorway, and Joshie just wouldn't do it. The door closed, and Daddy and Grandpa left without him, and were sad. They were sad because he chose not to join them simply because he didn't have the coat he wanted. How many times have I refused God because I didn't "have the right stuff?" Now I know that God would never go off and leave me, but I know that I have made Him sad because of my choices. God, help me to let go of the things I'm holding on to so that I can experience Your glory to the fullest!

Standing up for myself

Worked late (till 5), came home and cooked dinner. Called everyone, and we ate together. It was a pleasant meal. Then everyone got up and walked away. I announced that since I cooked the meal, who was going to clean up the dishes? Of course, Bob and Aidan replied "Not I!" Morgan didn't reply, but my focus was on Bob. I continued pressing on, stating that I had cooked the whole dinner by myself, and it wasn't fair. He said he would do the cooking and dishes on Wednesday night (our pizza-on-paper-plates night), so I answered that just like sick days around holidays at some businesses, if you take Wednesday, you also have to take the two days on each side - Tuesday and Thursday. Of course, he refused, and warned that if I continued, he would leave the living room and go to the bedroom to watch tv. Well, my feeble little legs really wanted to stand, so I followed him in and told him I would leave the dishes for him to do while I was at Quartet practice. He answered that they would still be there when I returned, so I asked why. His answer? That he wasn't going to do anything, and especially not something that I was "forcing" him to do!

Not wanting the kitchen to get horrible after I just did a major cleaning for the holiday, I went ahead and did the dishes. But I decided that I won't be fixing dinner anytime soon. Morgan mentioned something about that "not going well," and I told her it wasn't over (trying to set the example of using my voice). I warned her that she would probably have to get her own dinner for a while, and told her about how I was going to try to get better at standing up for myself - she reminded me of just a couple of weeks ago when she got in trouble for standing up for me (he refused to take her to school for a couple of weeks because of it). Yep, I need to stand up for myself for her sake, as well.

Now I know that I haven't really used my voice yet. I still haven't gotten mad. And not making dinner is a passive retort, but I'm working on it. I'll get better with practice!

Boundaries

So I got to the point last Sunday night that I needed to talk with someone who I know would give me sound spiritual advice. Thank you TR & JR. I do have good friends in the church, even if not particularly close ones.


They took my story from where it is at this point and got a feel for where I am headed - the paths before me. They even asked questions about my own feelings right now, including if I was even thinking about divorce. I acknowledged that I had thought many times how much easier it would be to be alone rather than to have to deal with the control, manipulation, lack of respect, and verbal abuse that just seems to be worsening. They validated my feelings - something that hasn't been done in my marriage in many years.

Toward the end of our conversation, T asked me what did I take from our time together. These are some of the things I have to think about:

* Boundaries
- I need to set mine WAY lower. I have an extremely high boiling point. In fact, I don't believe I have ever yelled at him. I need to drop this point down considerably, and just GET MAD!
- I need to be much less tolerant and passive. I mustn't be a "dodger", an "egg-shell walker". I don't always have to smooth things over. It's ok to not let the shenanigans fly!
- Insults and control for the sake of control are NOT OK!
- I need to find my voice and use it - to know myself, know what I need to stand up for.

* Spiritually
- I need to feed and nurture myself spiritually, so that I can feed and nurture others, including my marriage. Jesus, as a servant, took care of himself spiritually first and foremost - he spent time with the Father constantly.

* Children
- I need to watch out for the example I am setting for them. I have been concerned for quite a while about the way Aidan is beginning to treat me. Finding my voice and being less tolerant will help in this respect. But I also need to watch out for Morgan. I don't want her to learn to be as passive as I am. She still has fire in her, and I don't want that to be squelched. I need to encourage her to have her own voice as well.

* Who's fighting for ME?
- God is MY valiant warrior - He will protect ME and rebuke those who are mistreating ME! Even if it IS my own husband.

* This Burden
- I do not need to, nor can I possibly, carry this unknown weight by myself ANYMORE. I need to be met halfway, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Oh, no he di-n’t!

Grrr! He walks in from work this evening and sees the two packages he ordered sitting on the piano bench, so he starts singing, “Happy Birthday to me (since someone didn’t care), Happy Birthday to me (since someone didn’t care),” etc. No, I didn’t get him a present for his birthday, but I had my class call him to sing happy birthday to him, and we took him out for dinner that night. When I reminded him about this dinner, he said we “drug him along”.

So he began fixing dinner (something he’s just recently started to do once or twice a week). All of a sudden, he walked into the living room where I was researching media files for lesson plans, and huffed, “Where’s the wok?” I said, “probably in the sink.” (I knew it was). He started to say something (I’m sure it was going to be something about me helping him by washing it), but he just quit making the dinner altogether, without saying a word. I ended up eating a sandwich, and told Aidan to fix himself some corndogs (Morgan is babysitting tonight).

I absolutely CANNOT believe he went there! In 18 years of marriage, he has NEVER offered to help with the dishes after I’ve cooked the meal! He has NEVER offered to help me cook, yet when he cooks, he ALWAYS asks me to do something, being the delegater that he is!

Father's Love Letter

The words you are about to experience are true. They will change your life if you let them, for they come from the very heart of God. He loves you, and He is the Father you have been looking for all of your life. This is His love letter to you.

My child, you may not know me, but I know everything about you.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. 
- Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. 
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
- Psalm 139:2

I'm familiar with all your ways.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 
- Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered,
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  
- Matthew 10:29-31

for you were made in my image.
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 
- Genesis 1:27

In me, you live and move and have your being, for you are my offspring.
‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ 
- Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
The word of the LORD came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” 
- Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 
- Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 
- Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth, and where you would live.
From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 
- Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 
- Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb,
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
- Psalm 139:13

and brought you forth on the day you were born.
From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you. 
- Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.
You are doing the works of your own father.” “We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.” Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 
- John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love,
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 
- 1 John 4:16

and it is my desire to lavish my love on you, simply because you are my child, and I am your Father.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 
- 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could,
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 
- Matthew 7:11

for I am the Perfect Father.
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.  
- Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand,
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 
- James 1:17

for I am your Provider, and I meet all your needs.
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  
- Matthew 6:31-33 

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope,
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
- Jeremiah 29:11

because I love you with an everlasting love.
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. 
- Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore,
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
- 
Psalm 139:17-18

and I rejoice over you with singing.
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 
- Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you,
I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. 
- Jeremiah 32:40

for you are my treasured possession.
Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. 
- Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul,
I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul. 
- Jeremiah 32:41

and I want to show you great and marvelous things.
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ 
- Jeremiah 33:3

 If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. 
- Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart,
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 
- Psalm 37:4

for it is I who gave you those desires.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 
- Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine,
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. 
- Ephesians 3:20

for I am your greatest encourager.
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. 
- 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 
- Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. 
- Isaiah 40:11

One day, I will wipe away every tear from your eyes, and I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” 
- Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I loved my Son Jesus,
I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.  
- John 17:23

for in Jesus my love for you is revealed.
I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”  
- John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. 
- Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you,
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 
- Romans 8:31

and to tell you that I am not counting your sins. Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 
- 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 
- 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything that I love that I might gain your love.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 
- Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you will receive me,
No one who denies the Son has the Father; whoever acknowledges the Son has the Father also.
- 1 John 2:23

and nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 
- Romans 8:38-39

Come home, and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen!
I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.  
- Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. 
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 
- Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is, will you be my child?
Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 
- John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. ¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. ²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ ²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. ²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ ²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ ³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” 
- Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Emmaus is like Kindergarten

One of the pilgrims at Closing tonight equated the Emmaus Walk to being a kindergartner. You don't have any clue what time it is, nor do you have any reason to know. Your every need is being met - plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, an abundance of love.

Saddleback Church: How to Read the Bible With Your Ears

Prayer and Bible reading are not two separate activities, they are two parts of a conversation with God. You need two to hold a conversation, and both should be talking about the same thing! Let God start, because He's God and you're not! Let Him start it in the Bible.

Read for depth and not for distance. Don't use it like a medicine cabinet "I know what I'm looking for, God, don't bother me until I find it." Don't treat it like window shopping, either. When you find something that fits, don't turn away from it because of the cost. It's not a lottery, either. Don't gamble on which verse will open up first.

Not necessary to read chronologically. God will meet you wherever. Ask god to show you what to read today. Make yourself available to Him.

Start at the beginning of a book, and take all the time you need (as many days as necessary) to finish it. The same Holy Spirit that caused the Word to be recorded, now inspires every reading of it. Read for depth: stop and look down into the "water" (skipping rocks example). It's not how far and how fast, but how deep you can go.

Room-temperature water (sometimes when we come to the Word, we're not all fired up about it. We're just so-so. Lukewarm.). When a teabag is dipped in once (teabag is scripture), nothing. But let the teabag sit in the water and steep, and the water will receive the flavor, color, aroma, character of the tea. The heart will begin to absorb the nature, character, flavor, and aroma of Christ.

Read it, think about it, talk to God about it. May read several chapters at once, or may read same few verses day after day for a while.

Return to water - it's identity has changed - it's not water now, it's tea.

No longer an experience with a book, now an encounter with a friend. It is a letter to us. A friend.

Saddleback Church: Trusting God Through Trouble

Buddy Owens, Teaching Pastor – Aug. 8, 2010

Trust: to allow someone to do something without fearing the outcome

I have to trust God to do His will – to succeed on His own terms, in His own time.

Nahum 1:3 “The Lord has His way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of His feet.”

The quickest way around the storm is through it.

You may not have done anything wrong – in the storm because you are obeying Him.

There are lessons that I have to learn about Jesus that I cannot learn anywhere else, under any other circumstances – it has to happen in a storm.

There are things we learn about ourselves, about God, and about Life that we can only learn when God takes us through a storm, when we are following Him, looking for the clouds, the dust of His feet, and we follow Him into the storm.

Psalm 56:11 “In God I trust, I will not be afraid.”

Trust: to run into a shelter or hiding place; to seek refuge.

Find some part of the Word of God and let it steep into your soul.

Create an atmosphere of worship by tuning out all the bad news, tuning into all the good news, and listening to worship music. Create an environment where you’re focusing on the  Lord.

Psalm 91:1-2 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”

Psalm 57:1 “In You my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed.”

Hide in the Lord until the disaster has passed.

Trust: to lean the weight of your soul on the faithfulness, reliability, integrity or friendship of another person.

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (this was in my personal reading for today, as well. I guess I need to put more trust in Him.)

Trust: to take someone at his word.

Lord, you said you would meet my every need. I’m going to believe you.

When God asks “Do you trust me?,” you must set your heart and mind to follow and to find Him, to take refuge in His Word, to take Him at His Word.

Trouble will not go away when you give your life to Jesus. Your perspective on your troubles in life will change.

2 Cor. 4:16-18 “We do not lost heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Seeing the unseen: Eyes of your heart / gaze of your soul; seeing things the way God sees them

Ephesians 1:18 “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you…”

Moonflower: seed must be notched, buried, bud quivers before it opens to full glory

2 Cor 4:8-9 “We are: hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” – Which side of the comma do you live on – the troubled side or the trusting side?

Persecution = fertilizer – we all know where fertilizer comes from!

A seed can sit on a shelf for years, and produce nothing, until the transformation of dirt (trouble) happens. It may take days, weeks, months, or years for the transformation to happen. Can’t dig the seed up to see if it’s making progress, or you’ll start all over again. Allow God to take you through the transformation of trouble.

He is working all of these things for my good.

The seed of adversity, when it is planted in the soil of faith, and cared for by the Gardener, will bring forth life and beauty in its season.

My Gardener is overseeing the burying in the dirt, the darkness, and the struggle.  He knows it will produce glory.

God is in the business of bringing forth life.

God is at work in ways I cannot see.

He will grow joy out of my sorrow, peace out of troubles, patience out of adversity, kindness out of mistreatment, compassion out of pain, if I will surrender to the process, allow Him to do His Work, and not fear the outcome.

2 Cor. 5:7 “We live by faith, not by sight.”

This trouble will not last – it’s all in your perspective. It’s not the end, but the beginning of something beautiful. God will not make you go through it any longer than necessary. Can’t hurry the process, but can hinder it, by not cooperating with God.

Feed on the Word every day, even if it’s just a quick bite

Pray for the rain of the Holy Spirit to soften the ground of my heart and to quench my thirsty soul

Pull the weeds – get rid of anything that chokes out the Life of Christ – worry, bitterness, unforgiveness

Guard against bugs – habits, behaviors, lifestyles that deplete your energy and joy

Prepare for a harvest – weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

The Bible tells us to comfort others with the comfort that we have received.

Lord, I’m at an end. I need Your help. I want to trust You with this. I can’t handle this trouble on my own. But Lord, I believe, and I’m taking You at Your Word when You said that You work all things together for our good, that You make all things beautiful in their time, that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, that You won’t let me go through something that You won’t give me the strength to endure. Lord, I’m taking You at Your Word, and I trust You today. Lord, I want to live on the trusting side of the comma. I pray that Your Will will be done in my life, and I want to lean all of the weight of my soul and my life in You. I want to hide in You, Lord, and find protection until this storm has passed, and I trust You, Lord, to bring life and beauty out of my troubles.

Sensational Sounds 9/25/10

Note to Self …

Out-of-shape 40-year-olds should NEVER accept an invitation to a “Family Bike Ride” around town in 90+ degree weather, ESPECIALLY when they have never ridden past the nearest busy street!

The newest fad for teens and pre-teens is Silly Bandz, theme-shaped rubber bands that they wear on their wrists. Morgan had been wanting a giraffe, and when I went to the mall on Saturday, I happened to find a package of the zoo theme. Being the nice mommy that I am, I picked them up, along with a package of sea creatures for Aidan. Well, now that she had the giraffe, she found out that there was a package of music-themed shapes available, and that Bunny’s in Sidney had them.

Well, yesterday she wanted to go down and get them. Of course, being a teen close to getting her driver’s license, she wanted to drive there. But her dad (I don’t know where his brain was, because this certainly wasn’t a normal suggestion) said we should all ride our bikes down. Now, sitting in our air conditioned house, on a comfy couch, this didn’t sound like too bad of an idea, so I agreed, since it’s like pulling teeth to get dad to do anything but a movie with the family. Then we realized it was getting close to lunch time, so he suggested we also stop at the Spot for lunch while we were down there. Again, not a bad idea, especially since Aidan has been asking for Old Fashioned Cream Pie for a couple of weeks.

As we were getting our bodies and our bikes ready, his mom called and asked if he would stop over and help her pull her table apart in preparation for her upcoming move. And so he decided we would just make a stop over there on our family outing.

So we embarked on our outing, me equipped with an always-necessary water bottle, given my history of heat problems.

We rode to her apartment, and when we stopped, my legs were like jelly, and I’m sure my face was extremely red as usual. I was so thankful I had brought my bottle, filled first with ice, then with filtered water. I chugged 3/4 of it there, sharing a few chugs with Aidan, and we visited for a little while to cool off in the air conditioning.

Back on the road, we rode down to the pharmacy. Now, mind you, the town of Sidney is in a valley. Almost all roads leading out of Sidney go up – way up. So going INTO town was the easy part.

We got to the pharmacy, and I said I would stay outside with the bikes while the rest went in to find the Silly Bandz. While they were in the store, I started to feel a bit light-headed, so I sat down on the sidewalk under the awning and got out my water bottle again.  When they came out, I told them I still needed a couple of minutes.

When I felt like I could make it a couple of blocks, we headed to the Spot.

When we got there, we parked all the bikes next to a lamp post, and got out the bike lock. As we were just about to lock them up, I realized I didn’t have the key with me – I normally carry it in my purse, but didn’t have my purse with me. Locking them up without the key would’ve been really bad! So we decided to just get a seat near the window where we could keep an eye on them. Upon entering the Spot, we saw how packed it was. The only open seats were at the bar, on an opposite wall from where we could have seen the bikes. So Bob said he would move the bikes as we ordered the food. Finally, I got the food ordered, and he got the bikes moved and came inside. I was feeling quite bad by this time, so I asked him to carry the food for us while I sat down. He asked if he was going too fast, or if it was just the heat. With tears starting, I told him it was just me overestimating my capabilities.

We did have a nice lunch, complete with pie, and nobody stole our unlocked bikes.

By the end of lunch, I was somewhat cooled off and felt much better, so we started the trip home. When we got to the base of the hill, we all walked our bikes up, and from there it was a fairly short ride home, to the nice, cool leather couch, which I promptly flopped upon for the next hour or two, until it was time for Morgan’s ballgame.

A Realization

See my previous post about one of the scariest dreams I've ever had.

Now I just realized today that I had a second strange dream this week.

As background, you need to know that I live just a few blocks from my childhood home. It is about 100 years old, and is currently being renovated by its new owner. He has completely gutted the inside, and put new siding on the outside so far. It was a very nice home when we lived there. My mother decorated it tastefully, and it served us well. But it is going to be gorgeous when he is finished with it.

Now, back to my dream. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of this home, gazing at what has been done so far. All of a sudden, I realized that our neighbor's house was gone! It had been torn down - there was nothing but grass in the spot where their house had stood. As I looked some more, I noticed that every house on the block was gone, and there ours stood, looking ever more beautiful!

Tonight's prayer study was on gazing. As I gazed at a picture of Jesus, I prayed and thought about things going on right now. That's when it hit me that things surrounding the "old" me are being torn away and removed, but that I am being made more beautiful in the midst of it all.

Wierd Dream ... or was it?

See this post about a dream I had earlier this week.

What activities renew my spirit?

Activities that renew my spirit include singing praise & worship songs, taking walks in nature and making it a point to notice the beauty, talking to a spiritual friend, going on a missions trip or serving Him in some way, and journalling.

Jesus, Take Care of Your Little One

When we returned from dinner, the bed had been turned down and there was soft music (the kind I love!) playing. We hung out, Bob reading his book and me catching up on facebook and blogs. When we went to bed, I was still enjoying the music, so I left it playing.

At 2:30 a.m., I awoke in tears, my heart hurting like it has many times over the past months. I had been having a dream that seemed to be like a very sad movie, but I believe is very real for someone. It was about a young boy, maybe a little younger than Aidan, who knew he was going to die. He wasn't in the hospital, so I don't know what his ailment was. The dream was quite long, and I could hear that soft music which made it seem like a movie, but the part that I remember vividly, the part that woke me up, was when his mother came to pick him up from school. It was like I was there, watching. They were the last ones to leave the classroom, and they walked slowly down the hall together. Near the door, they stopped; the boy was crying. He asked his mother why he couldn't just get in a car accident to get it over with.

The pain in my heart tells me that someone is feeling this way, and it spurred this prayer.

Who knew?

Ok, so I thought going to a Mennonite Church this morning would mean ultra-conservative. I bought a long plain skirt and turtleneck sweater in preparation. I didn't wear any makeup. I didn't take my camera. I didn't expect anything from the service except hymns, Bible verses, and a sermon.

They had all those things, but they had computers with media, too! One of the youth showed a powerpoint she had made of research her team was doing. There was also this video:

 The Stool, by One Time Blind

I took some thought-provoking notes about the sermon, given by a layperson this week, on Satan.

Afterward, we were invited to the home of church members David and Joanne Sauders for lunch and fellowship. Exactly what I had hoped to be able to do while we were here!

After spending probably about 3 hours there, we returned to the B&B and had some time to kill before our reservations at

Lily's On Main, so I talked Bob into visiting with the Hertzogs (owners of the B&B). We had a great time talking about all the things we have in common: Haiti, teaching, children, and sci-fi.

Dinner at Lily's was delicious, too. I had vegetarian grilled ravioli and salad with pomegranate dressing - yumm! Bob had raspberry chicken. Of course, I couldn't leave without dessert - caramel pecan pie a la mode! However, because of that dessert, we were too late to get to the movie on time, so we turned around and came back to the B&B for a quiet night in. Goodnight.

Heehee

A&W snowman

We're here!

The drive was quite long (8 hours), but we're here, and it's wonderful! Right away, Bob engaged in conversation with Kristen about Haiti. After settling in, we had dinner at Oregon Dairy Country Restaurant, similar to our Der Dutchman. Then to Walmart to pick up outfits fit for the Mennonite Church we will be attending in the morning. Then it was back to the house for a movie in/date night.

Here are a couple of sights we saw on the way:

At a rest stop in Ohio: I've never seen Pringles or M&M's vending machines!

At the A&W in Zanesville (where we stopped for lunch): a snowman in the drive-thru lane. Some workers were bored that day! Check out the ice cream cup hat!

We're on our way!

We're officially on our way to Lancaster County, PA to the  Hertzog Homestead Bed & Breakfast! I'm really looking forward to having a good time away with my hubby.

The Sacrifice of a Lifetime

My daughter continues to amaze me. I am absolutely loving watching her grow and mature spiritually. She posted a poem on her blog a few days ago that she had written as another school assignment earlier this year. I truly believe this young woman will do amazing things wherever the Lord takes her in her life. I am truly blessed and honored to be selected as her mother.

COW: Cow-nsel of the Wise

The story I'm about to share was written by Morgan in 2007 for a school assignment (she was 12 at the time). That summer was to be my first chance to serve as a Log on an Emmaus Team, and this story turned out to be the perfect "skit" for the Logs to perform during Saturday's lunch. Diann was involved with a puppet ministry at her church, so she provided puppets for us to act out our story. It truly was "hand-picked" by God himself, as every detail in putting together the skit just fell into place!

P.S. all spelling and punctuation is recorded here exactly as Morgan wrote it.

COW: Cow-nsel Of the Wise

On a farm, down in Pigeon Forge, called "DaVinci's Farm," there lived a cow. Her name was Moo-na Lisa and she was 2-years-old. Now, Moo-na Lisa thought she was the exact opposite of normal. She wanted to be beautiful, but what she didn't know is that she already was in God's eyes.

The popular thing was to be "goth," which means to worship the devil, and to fit in she had to become "goth." She could not figure out how to do this because she was raised on a Christian farm.

Finally, she decided to run away from home because the farmer would never let her become "goth." She never attended religious ceremoo-nies, never prayed, and never read the Bible, she thought her life was going great and she finally fit in at school. To make sure she never forgot to go to school "goth" she went to the salon and died her whole body black. "Now," she thought "I can never forget to go to school "goth"." Now, she always grazed with the populars and her life had never been better. Until one day, the farmer had put up signs all over town saying that she was lost, and he found her. Immediately, they took her to the duck-tors office. Duck-tor Quack told him that she had Mad Cow Disease and would only live for about 6 more moo-nths. She went to the hogs-pital, and after the farmer left she started mooing, at the top of her lungs, at God for letting this happen to her. That night she cried herself to sleep.

The next day, Duck-tor Quacks did a cat-scan on her and told her that the disease was getting worse and that she now only had 5 moo-nths and 2 weeks to live.

Every night for the next 3 moo-nths she moo-ed loudly at God, and every day the duck-tor told her the same thing. "Your Mad Cow Disease is getting worse and you will die sooner."

Finally, on the last night of her life, she prayed to God to keep her alive, and she promised she would change her ways. The next day, the duck-tor came in and did another cat-scan on her and to his surprise, her Mad Cow Disease was totally gone!

The duck-tor said, "This is such a moo-raculous event.", and at that moment Moo-na Lisa began to see just how great our mighty God is.

Moral: Trust in God and he will keep you moo-ving.

Yes, everyone, that's MY daughter who wrote that! Isn't she awesome?!

Holding Myself Accountable

I am so bad at being disciplined enough to sit down and pray. I don't get up early enough. I fill my drive time with podcasts or music. I'm too tired when I go to bed, and fall asleep in the middle of a prayer. Grrr.

I was thinking about this during the service this morning. How can I make myself make time in my day? And then it hit me. I love to be on the computer. I enjoy blogging, but don't usually know what to say. I could put my prayers on a blog! Then I would even have a "journal," where I could look back at the prayers that have been answered (one way or another!), and keep up with prayers for others. Duh! So I started a new prayer blog just for this purpose.

Let's see if this works!

Things have been better...

Things have been better around our house lately. Around Thanksgiving, Bob decided to begin speaking to me again. It happened about the same time as he decided to check out an online game for Aidan called Wizard101. The more he played it, the more I started hearing about it.

Now this was not an unusual occurrence. Many times in our more than 20 years together, I have been reduced to a blank smile and nod as he told me all about the latest and greatest of his current game.

But this time was different.

This game was different.

He said it was something I might like. And this time, he was right. It is a somewhat Harry Potter-like online card role-playing game geared toward kids, which is probably why I like it!

We have been enjoying playing together, and have even gotten Morgan interested, too (although her being grounded from all phone, facebook, and chat abilities has probably had a role in it, too).

It's hard for me to believe that a child's online game has brought us back together - the Lord sure does work in mysterious ways!